6 Rights Men Have in Divorce Proceedings
Divorce is rarely easy, and almost every person ending a marriage has to deal with conflict and disagreements. But high-conflict divorces are even more difficult and present unique issues that can be especially challenging to deal with. High-conflict divorces involve serious disagreements between the spouses, whether it’s about child custody or the division of the assets. Furthermore, these are disagreements that can’t be easily settled through traditional means, such as mediation. High-conflict divorces can result from one or both spouses refusing to cooperate, such as dragging out the divorce by contesting every term or engaging in character assassination tactics. If you’re facing a high-conflict divorce, it can help to remember your rights.
1. The Right to Legal Representation
First and foremost, you have a right to legal representation, and this is one of the most important rights you can exercise. While it’s possible for some people who are going through very amicable divorces where both parties mutually decided to end the marriage to forego having an attorney, this isn’t wise.
In a high-conflict divorce, it’s common for your ex to attempt to use everything possible against you, and you need an attorney who knows how to filter through the drama and address what really matters. Having an experienced attorney who has worked on high-conflict divorces before can help you anticipate potential issues so you can be proactive and ensure you get the best possible outcome.
2. The Right to Equitable Division of the Marital Property
Minnesota is an equitable distribution state, which means that each party is entitled to their equitable share of the marital estate. However, this doesn’t mean that you will just split all of your assets and debts 50/50 with your ex. Various factors go into figuring out how the marital property should be divided, including the earning potential of both parties and whether one party stayed home with the children to support the other’s career or education.
Some men make large concessions regarding the assets in an attempt to speed the process along or appease their ex, but this often doesn’t work and just means that you end up with less than you deserve. An attorney can help you understand what you’re entitled to and help you fight to get it.
3. The Right to Request Custody
Cases where the parents disagree on how custody should be arranged are commonly high-conflict. It’s normal for both parents to want to ensure they retain a say in the decision-making and get parenting time, but men often give up, thinking that the mother is more likely to get sole custody and that it’s not worth fighting about. However, Minnesota has a rebuttable presumption of joint custody as long as one party requests it. This means that if you ask for joint custody, your ex has to prove why it would be detrimental to the child.
4. The Right to Parenting Time
As a parent, you have the right to have parenting time with your children. It used to be that the courts often gave the mother more parenting time, with the father only getting to see the children on weekends, but this isn’t necessarily true anymore. With the help of an experienced attorney, you can request a more generous parenting time schedule, such as a week-on-week-off arrangement.
If you’re finding it difficult to coparent with a high-conflict ex or the other party is infringing on your parenting time, it can help to communicate through writing only or a coparenting app. This also helps you keep documentation to show the judge if you need to address issues later on.
5. The Right to a Divorce Trial
Attempting to negotiate with your spouse or trying to go through mediation can be helpful in many cases. The more you can agree to outside of court, the faster — and cheaper — the divorce proceedings are likely to be. Unfortunately, these approaches don’t always work, and coming to an agreement on anything can be almost impossible in a high-conflict divorce.
If this is your situation, know that you have a right to a divorce trial, where you can present your evidence and testimony and have the judge make the final decision on the terms. While you do give up some control with this process, it can reduce some of the conflict, as your spouse can no longer argue directly with you and must present actual evidence and testimony to try to persuade the judge.
6. The Right to Put Yourself First
Divorce is an incredibly difficult transition. It affects every area of your life, and if you have children, it can be challenging to try to help them navigate the changes while dealing with your own stress. Remember that you can only be of help to those around you if you are in a stable position yourself. It’s important to make time to take care of your own physical, mental, and emotional needs.